i don't believe in objectivity. not that i don't believe it's a good idea. it's a great idea. modernism, globalism: beautiful concepts. everything is in the open. everything and everyone connected into one massive hive-live being. great idea. makes a lot of life-aspects stunningly better. but it doesn't create objectivity. it generates knowledge. knowledge that is still filtered through the subjectivity of our own experiences, of our own lives. only God is objective. he's omniscient. since he knows everything (knowing every experience and perspective at the same time (relatively speaking of course, because time is irrelevant to him)), he is simultaneously subjective from every point. he is objective through the entire spectrum of the subjective.

which brings me to now.

subjectivity is a bitch. it's true.
all i can do is stare through the back of my thoughts at everyone walking so purposefully on the other side.

and act accordingly.

i've stopped writing.
i just thought about that this morning, after the second cup of coffee. it makes sense i guess. i've been friends with a professional writer, which makes my attempts look more like a hobby. i worked to prove i could do anything at my job. and i did. the result, unfortunately, is that i'm now tasked with a broader scope of responsibilities (design being one of them. i hate design). the writing has been completely taken from me and given to the new guy. he's become the writer here. i'm treated like the most literate non-writing person in the world.

so it's a natural progression i guess. to stop writing. it's depressing though. it's hard to lose things you love.

i seem to be doing that a lot lately. losing things i love.