"i remember them all. the conversations we never have. or most of them at least."

i like to tell myself that even though i know it's not close to being true. the truest version of that statement is "i remember them all. the conversations we never have. the ones that i imagine would have changed me. i remember them. or most of them at least." and even that is missing some of the nuances of reality.

or better still, "why is there nothing more in my mind than the alternate endings of these invisible conversations?"

granted that's not really a statement. close enough though. it's getting distracting trying to be grammatically correct.

i wish i could forget them. the conversations. because they too are distracting. distracting me from the other distractions. the ones that have some relevance to reality.