maybe this isn't what i wanted.
"just a bit" i said or thought,
            i don't know which.
but a bit doesn't seem to want anything
to do with me tonight.
as soon as i sat down, he stood up
and walked out of the room.

it's just me now,
and excess is winking at me from a few tables down.
so, "what the hell" i say or think,
            i don't care which.
it's been so long, so silent.
maybe this is what i need to remember how to breathe.